John Andrews is a Competitive Webmaster and Search Engine Optimization Consultant in Seattle, Washington. This is John Andrews blog on issues of interest to the SEO community and competitive webmasters. Want to know more?

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Google-proof Javascript Redirect

I think I have discovered the Holy Grail of SEO this time. A javascript redirect that Google can’t detect. Do you know what that means? It means you can put up almost 10,000 pages of keyword spam nonsense, interlink it on keyword anchor tags, and add this javascript redirect on every one of those pages back to your favorite landing page. Viola! 10,000 pages indexed in Google on your spam words, all sending visitors to your single optimized, money-making landing page! If you blanketed your niche market with pages covering every possible spamword, and each of those pages gets a mere 2 referrals from Google each day, that’s 20,000 visitors PER DAY to your sales page! If your page is anything like this one (and if not, you can copy it!) you can expect something like 30 or 40% of .1 per-cent conversions! At pennies profit per sale as an Amazon affiliate, that’s more than a few bucks per day profits, you see what I’m sayin’?!

If you act now, I’ll sell you this little gem for $47 but first let me tell you a long and drawn out story, show you many examples of people who say that it has worked for them (or will work really well if they buy it and use it!). And if you act TODAY, I’ll even send you last years MMF eBook FREE OF CHARGE!

Now if you don’t recognize the parody yet I can’t help you, but if you don’t believe this is based in TRUTH, the Google-proof javascript redirect is REAL. It’s a bit complicated for the newbie, but I guess it would have to be complicated if it to outsmarts the Ph.D.’s at Google. Anyway, it looks something exactly like this:

SCRIPT
redirTime = “100”;
redirURL = “http://www.homepage.tld/”;
function redirTimer() {
self.setTimeout(“self.location.href = redirURL;”,redirTime);
}
END SCRIPT

If you don’t understand that code, don’t worry. Even *I* didn’t understand it until I actually read it. And then I sat back in awe…javascript so elegant, so refined, even TheGoogle can’t detect it. Simple, efficient, no-server-technology-required cloaking. The SEO Holy Grail.

I’m off to see the Wizard. Ten thousand ten schmousand, I’m gonna put this baby to work!

Editor’s Addendum: Please don’t try this at home. This and most posts on this blog are not for newbies. In this case, for example, the javascript is a basic redirect – nothing fancy, not hidden at all. The only remarkable fact is that Google *doesn’t* detect it. Surely if you put tens of thousands of spam pages on your website, you will eventually suffer a penalty at best, and possibly a complete ban. Don’t do that, ok? The post is sarcastic, although admittedly recognizing the sarcasm may require more than a basic level of Internet savvy. That’s part of my point – on the Internet, be careful. Don’t believe everything you think.

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3 Responses to “Google-proof Javascript Redirect”

  1. Seb Says:

    Wow

  2. john Says:

    is this really worked

  3. bharath Says:

    People usually say “Don’t believe everything you see/hear”.
    I like your version.
    > Don’t believe everything you think.

    Nice post btw. I like your sarcasm!