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Google Buys YouTube for How Much?

Let everyone else comment on the YouTube financials. I’ll stick with the fall out. If Google pays $1.6 Billion in stock for YouTube, it means at least one of three things:

DoH!
  1. Google thinks Google stock is WAY overvalued
  2. Google thinks the YouTube people are gifted geniuses capable of achieving for more than Google’s 200 or so Ph.D.s, recruited through a series of intractable Sudoku puzzles placed on highway billboards.
  3. Google understands that attention, as laid upon video, can be interrupted at any time for any reason and there is no way to prevent the imprinting of the message once so delivered.

Now I know that the Google executives don’t believe Google stock is overvalued. Otherwise, why would they buy so much of it themselves? I mean, looking at the insider sales of Google stock over the past year, you can clearly see how they value the Google stock. Take a look here. Look in the “transaction” column, and scan down until you see “acquisition” or “purchase”. Keep going. Down further. It’s a two year table, so just skip all the “sale” ones. All the way down. Keep looking. No, that “acquisition” was at $0… basically a freebie. Look for the ones where they actually invested in their own company.

Oops. There are none. It’s all sales. Not one purchase? Hmm….. but that table shows BILLIONS of dollars that Google executives have sold off in 2006 alone. Where are the purchases? Is not a single Google executive interested in buying Google stock? Wow.

Anyway, even if #1 is true, how about #2? Check out Chad and whatsisname on YouTube. These guys are pure obviously may be geniuses. After all, they just got $1.6 Billion of Google stock (the stock that everyone wants to own sell). With a restirction that it can’t be sold until all of the Google people have sold theirs first after some holding period. Hey, this is getting confusing. How about #3?

Ahhh, number 3. The death of YouTube. Let me ask you this. Everyone has seen some form of the “ghost” video, right? I don’t wish it upon any of you, so no link here, but if you haven’t seen it, it’s basically a video that seems innocuous and teases you into paying close attention, with an artificially low volume. Towards the end, they raise the volume suddenly and scare you with an in your face screaming ghoulish character. Hah. Hah. Hah. Welcome back to sophomore year in high school.

Now, the question. How do you ERASE that experience? Rewind it? Un-wind it? You can’t. Video is serial… what comes next doesn’t exist until it has already happened. Cognitively, it’s an unpreventable experience. Perrrrrfect. Welcome to GooTube, where advertisements pop into your visual cortex without warning, and context enlists your limbic system to help imprint the experience in surround sound.

The death of YouTube, ferr sherr as it loses the audience that recently adopted it in exchange for a TV audience seeking a more pervasive, personalized TV experience. “Dood that really hurt. Hit me again eh huh“. The Johnny and Bam culture. The old MTV’ers.

And of course now we have tons for the 200+ Ph.D.’s to do with their brain cells. With all the javascript I never understood how Google recruited real Ph.D.s, but assumed they just got the ones seeking monetary fortunes. Now, I fear they will get the bottom feeding neurocognitive brain trust away from the Universities. How to make friends and influence people, subliminally. That sounds like interesting work. And the “don’t be evil” part was rationalized away in that field decades ago.

I turned off TV 3 years ago. How long before I have to turn off the Internet as well?

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One Response to “Google Buys YouTube for How Much?”

  1. johnon.com - John Andrews - » Universal Tube & Rollform Equipment Corporation (UTube.com) Hot Steamy Erotica and MORE… Says:

    [...] A few months ago, Google bought Youtube. It was a big story, with a $1.5+ BILLION dollar transaction. Millions of people had heard of YouTube, and hundreds of thousands used it often. Now HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS would hear about YouTube. At least tens of thousands would type it into the location bar every day, to check it out. The key take-away is the word “hear”. When they heard the name YouTube, would they expect it to be at YouTube.com, or perhaps utube.com? [...]